From Desk to Dramatic Descents (and a Pint)

A solo Friday hike powered by toe socks, impulse detours, and one Boost orange.

🚗 The Escape

The work week ended, and so did my patience — I launched straight from desk chair to driver’s seat, pointed the car toward the Lake District, and refused to stop until Seatoller spat me out four hours later, slightly dehydrated and very ready to hike.

🧦 The Prep

After I rolled out of the car like a yoga mat that’s never been to a yoga class, I changed into my new toe socks (the hype is real), packed all the waterproofs (because of course), and hit the trail. It was gloriously sunny, deceptively calm — the kind of day that tricks you into thinking Lake District weather might be on your side.

🏭 Through Honister Mine

First mission: through the Honister Slate Mine. Felt rugged. Industrial. Slightly apocalyptic. And walking alongside the Honister Pass confirmed a long-standing truth: I would rather hike for days than drive that terrifying snake of a road. Honestly, how do people do it without crying?

🧭 The "Detour"

Naturally, I detoured from my planned route — I call it “Mira-core navigation.” I saw no one the entire hike. Just me, the peaks, and the wind narrating my thoughts like an overly dramatic podcast.

🌬️ The Peaks

At Grey Knotts, the wind picked up and I threw on a hoodie — not cold, just… flappy.

Brandreth followed shortly after, and then came Green Gable, my problematic fave. I’ve already done it, but I love it too much to skip.

The views of Great Gable from there? Peak poetry. I stood for longer than planned, debating a cheeky detour to revisit it… but shockingly, restraint won. I know. Growth? Who is she?

🐑 The Descent (and Detour 2.0)

The final Wainwright was Base Brown — good views, tricky descent. I got distracted gazing wistfully at Glaramara (been there, loved that), missed the path entirely, and found myself traversing a sheep trail like some sort of confused mountain goat. Eventually, I rejoined the real path — muggy, but very much still vertical.

🍔 The Recovery

I finished around 20:40, rolled into Keswick at 21:00 like a scruffy storm cloud, and bee-lined it to Mamma Mia for a veggie burger. Everything else had stopped serving, but I had priorities: food. I carried my burger triumphantly into a nearby pub and washed it down with a pint of Amber Wainwright — peak recovery.

🏆 The Plot Twist

Oh, and apparently, I ranked 7th on a Strava segment descending Base Brown, called:

👉 “Almost Certain Death.” Not sure what’s more shocking — the name, or the fact I wasn’t higher.

🥾 Stats:

Peaks: Grey Knotts, Brandreth, Green Gable, Base Brown

Distance: 12.6 km |

Ascent: 864 m |

Time: 4h 17m |

Fuel: 1 Boost + 1 Belvita (no further questions, thanks)

🧠 Lessons of the Day:

1. Honister Pass is for hiking, not driving.

2. Great Gable remains a flirt. Shame it was too late to do another detour.

   "Great Gable: 'Come on, just a quick one.'

   Me: 'That's how all my bad decisions start, mate.'" 😮‍💨🚩

3. One Belvita and a Boost can power miracles.

4. Sheep paths are valid navigational choices if you're committed enough.