🧠 Pre-Traumatised, Part 2: How to Spiral Like a Pro - My Pre-Welsh 15 Breakdown
- bootsandbanter
- Jun 30
- 3 min read
An unhinged deep-dive into the pre-trauma retail spiral known as "Welsh 15 Prep."
Some people get nervous before a challenge.
I, apparently, choose full-blown logistical panic with a side of orthopaedic forecasting.
Call it anticipatory damage control.
Call it extreme planning meets mild psychosis.
I call it: weekday.
🎒 This Isn’t Packing. This Is Pre-Therapy.
I have decided that I am keeping my joints from giving up. So now I own:
Neo-G Knee Braces (x2)
Neo-G Ankle Braces (x2)
Patella Tendon Knee Straps (x2)
Extra compression wraps (because layering is a lifestyle)
I’ve packed for hydration, elevation, annihilation — and a bonus identity crisis.
And somehow… I still wonder if I’m underprepared.
🦵 The Brace Spiral
I’m not injured.
But what if I become injured… in a highly specific way that requires a particular kind of knee brace at Hour 17?
Do I trust my tendons? No.
Do I have backups? Yes.
Do I trust them? Not really.
Do I trust me to know which to wear when? Absolutely not.
So I will bring them all. Because when my knees cry, I want options.
Options. And moral support.
☔ The Waterproof Crisis™
Number of rain jackets considered: 3
Number of them that are “The One”: 0
Number I’m bringing anyway: 2 (plus the passive-aggressive one in the car)
The weather doesn’t even know what it’s doing.
So I’m preparing for light drizzle, biblical flooding, sideways sleet, and internal thunderstorms.
🧦 Sockageddon: Toe Sock Edition™
Look. I’ve tried the fancy merino. The double-layer.
But now?
Now, I’m putting my faith in toe socks.
Yes, the weird little foot gloves.
I’m bringing all three pairs. Because at this point, they’re not just for blister prevention — they’re emotional support textiles.
If they fail me?
I have nothing left. Just damp disappointment and 40 km of sadness.
If they succeed?
They become sacred relics. 🌟I write a love letter. 🏆We get matching tattoos.💥
Invest in Toe Theology™
I now believe in the sacred ritual of taping each toe like a tiny mountain priest.
I bought:
Leukotape (non-elastic, terrifying)
Hapla Band (slightly less terrifying)
Essential oils (because someone said it preps the skin?)
Foot Glide anti-blister stick (a.k.a. foot deodorant for trauma)
I've watched more toe taping tutorials than I have actual weather forecasts.
And I regret none of it.
💊 I Am Now a Mobile Pharmacy
Ibuprofen, paracetamol, Anadin Extra, aspirin — I’ve got them all.
Not for a specific problem. Just…because if I can’t fix the pain, I can chemically confuse it. 🧪
🔦 Backup the Backups
Headtorch x2 (because one will betray me at 3am).
External battery x2 (no Garmin watch= no record/Strava= did it even happen?)
Blister plasters (entire variety pack — insurance for toe mummification failure).
Elastic tape I haven’t fully Googled yet.
Trekking poles I bought a year ago and have never used — they're finally invited.
🎭 What I’m Really Saying…
It’s not about the gear. It’s about control.
Because this challenge is huge.
Because I’m doing it with strangers.
Because I know it’s going to hurt, and I don’t know exactly how.
Because I’m scared. And excited. And terrifyingly aware of how much this means to me.
And because if I can’t control how the Welsh mountains will treat me…I can at least control the number of knee braces in my bag.
🏁 Financially, Spiritually, Emotionally...
I’m committed.
I’ve sunk money, hopes, and at least two evenings into watching YouTube videos about how to wrap a big toe like a burrito.
This isn’t fear.
It’s just… pre-trauma. 😂
More to come.
More delusions to catalogue.
More ways to justify numerous ankle and knee supports, a pasta pot, and a patella strap ensemble.
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