🌄 Day 3: The Bog That Wasn’t, the Forecast That Lied, and the Road That Must Never Be Driven
- bootsandbanter
- Aug 1
- 5 min read
Day 3 of 4 – Lake District Trip #6 of 2025
Date: July 26, 2025
📍Route: Eskdale Green → Green Crag → Harter Fell → Hard Knott → Loop Back via Hardknott Pass
📏Distance: 26.3 km
⬆️Ascent: 1,161 m
⛰️ Wainwrights: 3
Birketts: 3
Weather: Humid, overcast → gloriously sunny → windy tops
Mood: Reborn chatterbox in vest 🦋
Time on feet: 09:00 hours
🚗 The Detour of Denial: Milkingstead Farm Edition
I was driving into Eskdale for what felt like hours on those stupid narrow roads — the kind where the only thing wider than the hedges is your rising panic.
Things escalated quickly when I had to reverse three separate times in a tight section.
Three. Times. In. A. Row.
By the end of Reverse Attempt #3, I’d emotionally checked out.
I pulled into a spot near Milkingstead Farm by the River Esk and said, “That’s it. I’m done. I’ll walk the rest, even if it takes all day.”
And that’s exactly what I did — added two extra miles (4 altogether with loop back!) because I’d rather hike 26 km than play Lake District Reverse Simulator 2025.
Classic me. 😅
Honestly, once I started walking, I felt instantly better.
Birds, river, peace.
My car trauma evaporated the moment my boots hit dirt.
🌤️ The Forecast Said "Rain"... I Said "Vest"
I started Day 3 in full waterproof trousers — a direct trauma response to the Day 2 Mordor March™.
But less than an hour in, I was boiling from the inside out.
No rain in sight, so off came the layers.
By the time I was halfway up Green Crag, I was hiking in a vest, wind-free and slightly suspicious of the universe.
Navigation was tricky — the path I’d plotted clearly hadn’t seen many feet — but OS Maps kept me on track.
There was nobody around until the bottom of Green Crag, where I met a dad and his 10-year-old son. Actual humans! What a novelty.
At the top, I stayed for a long chat with the dad. The sun came out, and with it, views of previous day's misery route — laid out in all its dramatic glory.
I got actual shivers.
That valley… absolutely stunning when it’s not trying to kill you.
🌱 From Bog Fear to Dry-Hopping Joy
The dad warned me that the terrain between Green Crag and Harter Fell was an infamous bog-fest and told me to keep left.
My route already did stick to the left — thank chaos intuition — and to my surprise, the ground was absolutely fine.
Wet, yes, but if you step smart, you stay dry. And I did. (Take that, anxiety.)
Not far into the field crossing, I chatted with a solo woman, still buzzing from the weather and the views.
Then just as I finished the "bog" ground, I encountered a group of 6–7 women.
Clearly the trail took pity on my lonely, soggy silence from the day before and sent a parade of hikers to cheer me up.
Their group leader asked me, “How was the bog between the peaks?”
I said - what bog - LIES 😅
I just pointed at my feet showed her my squeaky clean shoes — not a speck of bog filth. She gasped like I’d performed magic, then took a photo of my shoes. 😂
Honestly? Proud moment. That was some elite-level footwork, and I will be putting it on my CV under “Survival Skills.”
☀️ Climbing Harter Fell... in a Sauna
The ascent of Harter Fell?
A sweaty affair.
No sunscreen (cheers, lying forecast), and the sun was full-on.
I was melting, but I pushed on.
At the top, more chats. I spent ages talking to people, thinking "this is going to delay me."
But honestly? I missed this yesterday.
I need people. I’m a hiker, yes — but I’m also a high-functioning mountain goblin who thrives on random trail conversations.
The weather? Perfect. The vibes? Immaculate. The trail snack count? Hilariously tragic.
🏔️ Hard Knott, Final Boss of the Day
Descending toward Hardknott Pass, the terrain was wet and gross, but I dodged the worst of it again. No one in sight until the road.
Final peak: Hard Knott. Still in a vest. Met two descending guys, swapped “view appreciation” stories, then headed up solo.
Very windy at the top — you can last two minutes in a vest before windchill says "put the jacket on, clown."
🪦 Hardknott Pass: Never. Again.
After summiting Hard Knott, I descended down into Esk Green via the road itself — the actual Hardknott Pass road.
HARD. PASS. Forever.
Just watching cars try to survive it was horrifying: tight hairpins, gut-wrenching gradients, and the ghostly smell of burning brakes probably etched into the valley walls.
Google Maps had the audacity to try and route me through it in the morning. And again on the way back. Twice. Twice it tried to ruin my life.
Let me be clear:
I won’t drive it.
I won’t be in a car that drives it.
I will simply walk it — like a feral goat with boundaries.
I walked over 2 km of it, and every horrifying metre confirmed what I already knew: That road is what happens when Satan designs a driveway.
🧃 Nutrition: A Joke in Three Acts
Let’s recap what I consumed on this 26.3 km, 1,161 m hike:
🥐 Maple pecan pastry
🍫 Oat bar
🍏 Apple bar
🥔 Crisps
🥤 Two Boosts
💧 One litre of water
No tuna pasta. No sandwich. Just vibes and nice conversations.
I never sat down — not once.
Stood for all chats like some kind of caffeinated trail spirit.
Dinner? Missed it.
Because I had to take the long scenic detour of Not Dying via Hardknott Pass Avoidance™, by the time I arrived at my hotel, all food places had stopped serving.
So I dined like a hiking queen on two emergency tuna pasta pots, in my room. Classy.
I did have breakfast, though. So that’s something.
🌟 Final Thoughts
After the emotional swamp of Day 2, that day felt like a proper return to form.
Gorgeous views, unexpected sunshine, lots of people to talk to — and a route that was longer and better than planned.
I came back smiling, tired, but weirdly content.
A good hike isn’t always about suffering.
Sometimes it’s just sun, snacks, and strangers who make you feel like yourself again.
Peaks bagged:
⛰️ Green Crag (489 m) - Wainwright
⛰️ Harter Fell (Eskdale) (653 m) - Wainwright
⛰️ Hardknott Pass (393 m)
⛰️ Hard Knott South Top (523 m)
⛰️ Hard Knott (550 m) - Wainwright
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